Inside Left.net

Jings, crivens, help ma boab, it’s Wednesday already. The off-season has been going by so slowly that the start of the new league season has caught me by surprise.

And I am glad it’s started. Well, I was until Aberdeen started playing competitive games and ended up shaming the entire north-east back into our crofts. Three games played so far, 11 goals conceded, 2 scored. But there’s no reason to panic, after all, we have a legend at the helm. And don’t forget, we had a bad start to the season last year too, and look where we finished.

So next week we play Hamilton, a sure-fire 3 pointer I reckon. Never mind they beat us last season at this stage also, we’ll gloss over that.

It completely escaped my notice, but the team that struggled to get past the Dons 8-1 on aggregate, Sigma Olomouc, are drawn against shit English side Everton in the first of the Europa League group games later on this week. I’m hoping Everton get a similarly thorough tanking (which is not unfeasible given their own stuffing by Arsenal last week), to prove once and for all that Scottish teams are no worse than English teams (note heavy sarcasm).

Celtic tried to prove that last night against Arsenal, but a combination of dodgy refereeing and Gary Caldwell prevented that truth to be proven once and for all, so we’re just going to ignore that result completely. And I do admit we where perhaps a little over-optimistic in our preview of this game yesterday, but hey, why not big-up Scottish football for once? No one else seems to be doing it.

Also in the group along with Everton and Sigma Thingy are Hearts, the team we’re tipping for third spot in the league this year. They’re taking on a team we once used to have in Subbuteo format – Dinamo Zagreb.

Unlike Hearts, Dinamo are the most successful team in their respective country, ehm, Croatia I think, having won lashings of league titles and shiny silverware. On paper then, expect another classic display of Scottish football at it’s best, considering that Hearts couldn’t even get past Dundee United yesterday.

Meanwhile, over in another corner of Europe, spare a thought for dear Fort William.

For years, the gashest team in senior football had carved out a little niche of terribleness, attracting attention from all corners of the globe, all drawn like flies to a pile of shit to one of the far posts of the Empire – Lochaber – to see for themselves the depths to which Scottish football has plumbed.

But they’ve suddenly got competition for all that media attention that nearly brought large-scale investment from the US: it turns out there’s a team that’s possibly even worse than Fort William.

Grantown-on-Spey side Strathspey Thistle where one of the three teams along with Turriff United and Formartine United promoted from obscurity in the north-east Junior leagues to semi-obscurity in the Highland League last season. So far, their campaign has not exactly got off to a flyer, something which cant be said for the teams that have had the pleasure to play them so far.

In their three games since the season started, Strathspey have conceded a whopping 19 goals, six more than Fort William. On opening day, Strathspey went down 8-1 to Wick Academy, with all the goals coming in the first half, an average of a goal every five minutes, roughly. In their next fixture, their first Highland League fixture on home soil, things got a little better against powerhouse Inverurie, the damage being restricted to only 3 goals. However, it was business as usual the following week when the other football team in Inverness, Clachnacuddin score eight times without reply.

All this makes for an unfamiliar picture: Fort William are no longer propping up the bottom of the table! Quite how long this will last will remain to be seen, but put a mark in your calendars for 28 November when these two giants of the scoreboard meet up!

Livingston finally played their first league game since they emerged out of bankruptcy. The SFA decided to refuse Livi’s desperate attempts at getting themselves re-promoted back into the First Division and upheld their decision to keep the team in the Third Division, a move designed to ensure the club’s long term survival. Or something. I’ve never quite understood how relegating a club one division, let alone two can in any way help a club that’s just struggled to get out of bankruptcy.

Livi where never a huge crowd-drawer in the First division, but down in the Third, when only 632 people turned up to watch game against Montrose, your crowds are going to be massively down, resulting in less income and sponsorship. And this loss of income will just more pressure on the club to survive in already difficult circumstances.

And just to really kill of Livi, the SFA may yet impose further penalties on the club because they refused to play their season-opener against East Stirlingshire. A 15 point deduction has been suggested, something which they’ll no doubt overcome, but it’s a little like getting a spear through the chest, only to discover a gas bill at the end of it. Madness, I tells ye.

So, what is there to look forward to in next week’s fixture list?

Though the tie between Celtic and new boys St. Johnstone looks tasty, without a doubt, the game of the weekend is Sunday’s SPL clash between Rangers and Hearts. Rangers have been suspiciously quiet so far in terms of transfers, but their casual demolition of Falkirk last week set out their intent to chase Celtic all the way this season.

In the First Division, two sides who we reckon will fight it out for promotion this season meet, as Dundee take on Inverness Caley Thistle. Cowdenbeath wont have to travel far to take on Alloa, and down in the Third Division we have the first Angus derby of the season when Forfar travel to Montrose.