Archive for the ‘Features’ Category

More losers in Europe?

Tuesday, March 16th, 2010

It’s not often I take heed of anything Craig Brown has to say, but his ire at the decision to allow the losing Scottish Cup finalists into Europe got me thinking.

I’m a bit hazy on the ins-and-outs of the UEFA rulebook, but as it stands this season (and remember this is a UEFA rule, not an SFA one, so for once we can’t blame them) the losing Scottish Cup finalist goes into the Europa League, at the expense of the team in fifth place in the league if – and only if – either one of Raith or Ross County make it to the final.

Furthermore – and this is where Brown sits up and takes notice – this means that Hibernian, the team currently fifth, or possibly Motherwell, currently fourth but only a point ahead of Hibs will miss out. I think that’s how it works anyway – like I said, it’s all slightly Byzantine in complexity.

The reason why Brown (and possibly John Hughes, Jim Jefferies and Mark McGhee) is complaining is that a team that qualifies for Europe on the basis of six games and a losing appearance in a final gets qualifying precedence over a team that plays 38 games, including games against the best teams in their division. It’s hardly sending the best teams to represent us now, is it? (more…)

Arse has collapsed, again…

Saturday, March 13th, 2010

Right, so, that’s that. That’s the season drawn to a close with a Maurice Edu header in the 92nd minute.

They are 13 points clear, haven’t lost a game in 4 months and we cannot pull our fingers out. Despite Robbie Keane. Keano rocked up on loan, and has been scoring regularly for us, but I don’t think a 6 month stint would have been enough to see us through. Maybe if he’d taken the Spurs boys to Dublin in the summer, we’d have gotten him all year, and he’d have made a Larsson-esque contribution to the season.

As it is, we’ve got Mogga, and his particularly dour brand of football. After spending the first half of the season bedding in (forgiveable) and trying to get a set of comparative cloggers to play sexy football, he’ll be spending the second half trying to persuade Keane to stay and apologising for flogging half the squad to Middlesborough. (more…)

The Contractual Obligation Update

Tuesday, February 23rd, 2010

It’s not been an easy time for the groundsmen at Scottish football clubs.

Earlier we heard that St Johnstone have suspended their groundsman over the postponement of the Rangers game last Saturday, which, by the way, has nothing to do with the upcoming Old Firm fixture and is in no way meant to give Rangers a breather before they play what could arguably the title deciding fixture against Celtic this weekend. The pipes where frozen, and that’s all there is to it.

Anyway, the good peeps over at Fir Park, Motherwell, must be getting a little nervous as the SFA are considering slapping yet another fine on the club after seeing the state of their pitch in recent fixtures. It’s amazing to think that the club already spunked over £250,000 on the pitch (seen here at left, as the Motherwell defence digs in deep to repel the Hibs attack in last Saturdays 1-0 win) and it still looks like a ploughed tattie-field [BBC]

Another country all too familiar with muddy fields is Belgium. The country that gave us, amongst other things, Jean Claude Van Damme, Tintin, decent beers, the humble chip and Marc Bosman have now managed to overtake Scotland in the UEFA Coefficient ranking table, meaning we’ve lost one of our Champions League places.

It’ll mean nothing to you if you’re not an Old Firm fan – for us, the already pointless SPL has just become even more pointless – but for supporters of Scotland’s League Champions from season 2012 onwards, it’ll mean even more reckless spending as you battle your way through the first of 1,056 qualifying rounds against teams such as a Vatican City Select XI, possibly.

Celtic’s recent financial results only highlighted the dependency the top two have on Champions League football, so this news must come as quite a shock.

Just a thought, but if I was a Scottish footballer, I’d be sending my CV off to Belgian clubs. [Scottish Football Blog]

That Alan McGregor eh, what a tube. Just when it seems he was getting his act together again, he goes and gets assaulted at a taxi rank. Walter Smith, apparently, is not chuffed at his keeper’s latest attempt to get himself a transfer to another club (a Belgian one, if he’s any sense). [Times]

In an unusually good article by Graham Spiers, “pitiful” Aberdeen are seen as the Nottingham Forest of Scotland, which is quite a compliment, if you ask me. [Times]

One thing that will make Celtic’s financial guru’s smile is the news that Bobo “Baldy” Balde has dropped his claims against Celtic for breach of contract and “unauthorised deductions” from his wage packet. The former centre-back spent most of his time under Gordon Strachan’s reign sitting on the bench and generally refusing to feck off – despite some generous offers – preferring instead to sit on his arse making “deductions” of £30k a week from Celtic’s wage bill. The tit. [BBC]

Fit’s Adee?

Wednesday, February 17th, 2010

I’d be failing in my duty as a blogger, firstly about Scottish football, and secondly as an unashamed Aberdeen fan, not to say something more about the latest Pittodrie Horror Show. And trust me: I’d rather not, but here goes anyway.

Shocking. Cringeworthy. Brutal. Mince. Keech. Humiliating. And perhaps the most unpleasant of all, the three tragic words: To. Be. Expected.

Yes, it was a deeply terrible, terrible result. The inconsistency that has plagued us all season long returned with a vengeance last night to produce a result of such epic badness that I am struggling to find the words to express how I feel this morning, so I’ll let the picture above do the talking for me.

(more…)

The definition of embarrassment

Wednesday, February 17th, 2010